Mail Bag

Dear Editor:

I received my New Zork Times, Vol. 3, No. 3, yesterday. I am now working on Contest Number 3. My 11-year-old son and I are long-time fans of Infocom, have purchased all of them, and solved most of them. My loyalty will remain in spite of the very sad fact I noted in the Times. Do you know, dear Editor, that in Puzzle Number One only 1 of 10 winners was female and in Puzzle Number Two, again, only 1 of 10 winners was female. Am I to believe:

1. Females don't play Infocoms
2. Females don't enter Infocom contests
3. Females don't get the right answer so don't qualify to win
4. Females just don't get their names pulled out of the hat as winners
5. The Times staff — except for "Angela" — is male and you "guys" fixed the contest!!!

Do you want this unfair practice to continue? Do you want to be boycotted — girlcotted?? — by NOW? How do you propose to solve this dilemma?

Perhaps I could sew some ribbon and lace on my contest entry (a delightfully feminine thing to do), and you could pick it as a winner; I could win a T-shirt, and you would be absolved.

Oh well, it was worth a try! Frobozz! Frobozz! Frobozzle!

P.S. I like the new difficulty ratings, packaging, and especially prices!!

(Your letter touched a sore spot. We try very hard to keep sex bias out of our games — in most, there is nothing to indicate the sex of the player. We have found, possibly because of this, that women use Infocom's interactive fiction more than the average software product.

Sadly, however, women still account for only one out of six Infocom users. The five conclusions you listed are not true. The actual reason is that women have been underrepresented as computer and software users.

We will continue to do our best to interest more women in our products; by doing so, we hope to interest more women in microcomputers in general. —Ed.)

Dear Editor,

I received my first copy of The New Zork Times a few days ago, and I was particularly pleased with your article, "How the Witness Came to Be," by Stu Galley. Of all the games you have written, the Zork series is my favorite. Why not do an article on how it came to be, for the education of all of the new personal computer owners, like myself?

I have a TRS-80 Model 4 and Zork I, Zork II, and Zork III. Your games bring a great deal of challenge to me and all my friends that have dared to try them. Keep up the good work.

(Your wish is our command. —Ed.)

To The New Zork Times Editor:

Sometimes when I read all of the comments that people write in to a magazine, I just agree with them and continue reading. However, I recently received my summer issue of your New Zork Times, and after finishing the "Mail Bag", I just had to offer my own opinion. I work for Hewlett-Packard and just bought a house and have a family, and as you might guess, I don't have a lot of time to play my Infocom games. But when your newsletter arrives, it reminds me how much I love to play them. I enjoy every part of your letter, and people ask me what I'm chuckling about while I'm reading it. I suppose that it reminds me of the excitement I feel when playing the games, and there are also several funny parts to the letter. I can't thank you enough for providing a standard by which all other games should be measured, and for giving me hours and days of challenge, excitement, and fun! I applaud your creativity, thoughtfulness, and sense of humor and openness (to the public with your newsletter).

Thank you so very much!

Dear Infocom,

Here is my entry to The New Zork Times puzzle. This one was too easy: I solved it without even DOING the puzzle! The answer was pretty obvious. Next time, please make the NZT puzzle a bit more challenging. I know you're good at that kind of stuff. Or perhaps you could hold a "creativity" contest, the kind Softalk used to offer.

Speaking of Softalk, does anyone at Info-Labs know what became of Softalk Publishing? All I got was a "death notice" and a subscription to A+ magazine. I was thinking you'd know, you having been one of Softline's most prominent advertisers.

I found something in Sorcerer™ for your bug department. It is this: you can open Belboz' journal with the key, fine; however, you can't close it. You get an "it's already open" message. Call the exterminator!

Is it possible to call somewhere (hook up in the Source?) to get the mainframe Zork via modem? That would be fun to do. I've always wanted to play the original Zork.

Are you going to convert the old games into the new packaging? If not, will the third Enchanter™ match the first two? It would look nice on my shelf.

BRING BACK ZORK IRON-ONS!

Sincerely,

(Concerning the puzzle, your wish is our command. As for Softalk, they were forced into bankruptcy by creditors. It was sad and sudden — they had assets but didn't have enough ready cash to pay all the bills when they were unexpectedly demanded. We will all miss the Softalk magazines.

All of our games are being converted to the new packaging, and all new games will be packaged in the new standard.

We have been considering T-shirts, but we're not sure what people would prefer. If you would be interested in Infocom T-shirts, please write in with your suggestions. —Ed.)

Hey Guys!

I was sitting around letting my restless mind wander, and came up with some amusing acronyms.

1. Flathead is the supreme G.R.U.E. — (Great Ruler of the Underground Empire)
2. Lord Excessive's job description: F.R.O.T.Z. — (Flathead Reigns Over The Zorkers)
3. The Zork Bank: F.R.O.B.O.Z. Z. — (Flathead's Ridiculously Official Bank Of Zealous Zorkers)
4. Toughness of solving problems in Zork series: P.L.U.G.H. — (Prevents the Losers Underground from Gaining Hope)
5. Status of Krill after being defeated: K.R.I.L.L. — (Krill Really Is a Lonesome Loser)

Hope you enjoy them. Stay tuned for additional insanities...

P.S. Please (perhaps) print these in The New Zork Times. Thanks.

(Your wish is our command. —Ed.)

Dear Zorks:

We liked "Grue Moon" and did some words:

Grue Moon — I saw him standing alone
Without a lamp in his hand
Without a light of his own.
Grue Moon — you knew just what I lurked there for.
You heard me saying a prayer for
Someone I really could snare for.
And then there suddenly appeared before me
Someone without any repellent.
I heard somebody whisper "Please don't eat me"
And when I did the moon had turned to coal.
Grue Moon — now I'm no longer a-gurgling
Without a dream in my heart
Without a meal of my own.

I've been lurking on the railroad
All the live long night.
I've been lurking on the railroad
Waiting for Zorkers to come by.
Don't you see the dumb fools coming,
Without repellent, torch, or light?
Now my mouth starts a dribblin'.
I'm going to eat those fools alive.
Zorker won't you come
Zorker won't you come
Won't you come without a light?
Zorker won't you come
Zorker won't you come
Won't you come without a light?
Someone's in the kitchen with Donald.
Someone's in the kitchen with that grue.
Someone's in the kitchen with Donald
Cooking up some Zorkers stew.

Dear Duf,

On many games I've noticed the letters GUE used. What does GUE stand for?

(Duffy is away on a case, so we thought we'd try to handle this one. GUE is an abbreviation for Great Underground Empire, where the Zork trilogy is set. It is frequently used after dates; for example, 785 GUE would indicate the year 785 of. the Great Underground Empire. — Ed.)

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