Scorpion's Tale

Hollywood Hijinx

Scorpia

WARNING! This article contains spoilers. Avert your eyes!

Well, I see it's that time of year again... spring (already?), when a young person's fancy turns to adventure games. So just step right in, settle into your usual chair, and Fred will pour you a tall, cool one. Something you'll probably need, as in a short time you'll be on your way to Tinseltown to indulge in some Hollywood Hijinx.

Good ol' Uncle Buddy. He was a real fun guy. Of course, you'd expect that from the producer of such box-office busters as "Vampire Penguins of The North", "You Can't Fight City Hall-But You Can Blow It Up!", "Slash and Chop Sock Hop", and the controversial "Atomic Chihuahuas From Hell", to name only a few.

Alas, Uncle Buddy is gone, and now his wife, Aunt Hildegarde, has gone to join him in that great Grauman's Chinese in the sky. However, since you can't take it with you, they've left behind a tidy little estate. Being childless, they decided to leave their earthly goodies to one of their many nieces and nephews. Which one? Maybe you. All you have to do is stay one night in their cozy beachfront bungalow, collect 10 "treasures", and the entire bundle is yours! What could be easier?

Probably a lot of things, but there's a lot of money at stake here, and above all, you don't want your rotten Cousin Herman to get it! Just thinking of all the mean tricks he played on you during your youthful summers at the bungalow is enough incentive to get you going.

So, now the funeral is over and you're standing outside the bungalow, by the statue of that macho screen star, Buck Palace, the Fighting Mailman. From here, there are several ways to go. Hi jinx is non-linear, and most (but not all) of the puzzles are stand-alone; you can solve them in any order.

A quick tour of the grounds is a good idea. While the number of locations in all is pretty small, it helps to know your way around when you need to move fast. Although you might want to stay out of the hedge maze until you have the map (with the map, there is no trouble at all getting where you need to go, but it's a rather tedious route in and back, sigh).

Getting into the house itself is not difficult, even though the door is locked. Just pay careful attention to the poem on the back of Uncle Buddy's photo and you should be inside pretty quickly (warning: the poetry is bad, even by Vogon standards).

Indoors, you'll find a number of interesting places to explore. The Game Room, for instance, which has a scale model of Tokyo, complete with Atomic Chihuahua. However, it's not the dog you're after, but the Big Diamond Ring (from the movie of the same name) that you want. Unfortunately, the model is covered by a heavy plastic dome, and there's no way to move it.

Careful examination shows five buttons just outside the dome. I wonder what they do? There's only one way to find out! Just be sure to save the game BEFORE you start fiddling with those buttons (personally, I thought this was the most fun part of the whole game). And remember to save the heat for last.

Of course, you won't want to overlook the private screening room, complete with theater seats and its own projection room. Curious place, that projection room, it has both a slide projector and a film projector. Synchronicity is the key here.

Along the way, you've probably been finding some colored punch cards. Count them carefully. There are seven in all and you'll need every one of them. While most are right there in plain sight, one or two may not be so easy to find. It helps to be thorough in your searching.

Naturally, there is a connection between the cards and the super-hi-tech (prop) computer in the basement. It takes no great leap of logic to decide the cards go into the machine....but in what order? Ah, that's the question! Keep your mind on business, and who knows what you might end up with!

You don't need me to tell you about the fireplace, a favorite area in any adventure for explorations, but those three patriotically-hued statuettes on the mantlepiece deserve close inspection. They will be helpful in more ways than one.

Before long, you will have probably discovered the not-very-well-hidden wall safe. Do save the game before you start messing around with the combination dial. If you make a mistake, you'll be out of luck (somewhat like the trunk in Sorcerer, you must be right the first time).

When you make your way up to the second floor (having first figured out a way past the staircase, which has a distressing tendency to flatten out when you try to walk up), you will probably be a little disappointed. There isn't really much up there. Oh, there are a couple of items to add to your collection, but most of the rooms are just, well, rooms. Even the one with the fancy brass handles in the floor is merely, so to speak, "for show".

However, that panel in the ceiling of the middle hallway is a definite attention-grabber. Too bad there's no way to open it from this side. Really, you'll just have to think of some other way of getting up into the attic. It pays to stay on top of things in this case. That's all I have to say on this matter. I refuse to leak any further information.

Getting back down to earth again (really down), the crawl space under the parlor has some attractions of its own. Unfortunately, there seems to be a small area that you just can't reach; part of the floor above is blocking the way. How inconsiderate!

Well, you certainly can't let that stop you (not when you've been doing so well up to this point!). Pay careful attention to the ceiling in the southern half of the crawl space. And don't be afraid to be pushy.

Round about now, you should be pretty much finished with the house. If you've been into the hedges, you have eight goodies, or seven if you haven't (this does not especially matter, as the maze can be done at any time).

So you're thinking about those beach stairs, the ones with a few steps missing about half-way down. Terrible, how things have deteriorated since your childhood days. Actually, it's more than terrible, since you can't jump over the gap, and there's no rope anywhere. Life is hard.

Still, moaning about it won't do much (except maybe put the estate in Horrible Herman's hot little hands). I wouldn't give you a snow job; there's a fast and easy way of going down those very stairs, one that will get you to the bottom before you can hardly draw a breath.

Whew! A fast trip indeed, and now you're on the beach at last. Both the green match and the smoldering fire are important (which reminds me: I hope you haven't used the red match yet). Of course, it's your job to figure out in what ways.

While you think about it, a quick stroll of the area is in order. You'll find it to be a very small area, at that. The only place of interest is the small grotto. Which doesn't appear to hold anything of interest, except water. Well, I'm sure that sometime in the past, Herman told you you were all wet.

The only problem with being in the dark is that you can't see. This is actually a bigger problem than it sounds, because while you can walk around in the dark, you can't OPEN anything in the dark. At least you don't have to worry about Grues. On the other hand, a light source would certainly come in handy right about now.

And there is the trick, getting a usable light source with you into the bomb shelter (so? what did you think was on the other side of the hatch, eh?). This is probably the most difficult puzzle in the game (now watch everyone tell me later they got this one right off). But I'm not going to wax prolific on this one, you'll have to figure it out on your own.

Once you can see again, a very strange sight will meet your eyes. A large safe suspended by a rope, a sawhorse with a plank, hooks in the wall, a hatch and a greasy chain. What a combination! I recommend making a rough diagram of the set-up, which will help to make things much clearer. I also recommend opening the hatch before doing anything else.

Naturally you have a burning desire to get your hands on the safe, or rather, its contents. This may not be easy. Once you get the safe down (which is not hard), you have to get it open (which IS hard). Yes, it's another combination lock. And yes, you have to get it right the first time, just like with the other one.

However, there's nothing around with anything that looks like it might be the combination. Nothing, that is, except the small plaque on the door. Hmmmm. Could there be a clue here? Possibly several clues? There sure are, and you can count on that.

Now the rest is easy (or ought to be!), and before long you should be out of the shelter and up the slope with another treasure in hand. A brief stop at the cannon (too obvious to mention!), and you're ready for the end game (that is, when you've picked up the 10th and last goodie; if you haven't done the maze yet, hop to it!).

Bet you didn't think you'd end up in a prop vault, eh? Well, let me give you a little clue. That buzz saw is no prop, it's for real. You don't have much time here (you probably figured that out already by yourself), so you must act quickly! All I'll say is: third time lucky. Good luck!

Well, I see by the old invisible clock it's that time again. If you need help with an adventure game, you can reach me in the following ways:

On Delphi: Stop by the GameSIG (under the Groups & Clubs menu). On GEnie: Visit the Games RoundTable (type: Scorpia to get there). On The Source: Send SMAIL to ST1030. By U.S. Mail (please enclose a self-addressed stamped envelope if you live in the United States): Scorpia, PO Box 338, Gracie Station, NY NY 10028.

Until next time, happy adventuring!

Copyright 1987 by Scorpia, all rights reserved.

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These historical, out-of-print articles and literary works have been GNUSTOed onto InvisiClues.org for academic and research purposes.