Invisiclues

Where the heck am I?

1. As your status line says, you are in the Vogon Hold.
2. ASK FORD ABOUf THE EARTH.
3. The Earth has been destroyed by the Vogon fleet. You and Ford have hitched a ride aboard one of the ships of the Vogan Fleet by using the electronic Sub-Etha signaling device, also known as a Thumb.

How do I prevent myself from getting groggy and dying?

1. This is caused by your protein loss during the matter transference beams.
2. Do you have anything with a lot of protein in it?
3. It's something that Ford just gave you.
4. It's one of the primary ingredients of peanut butter and peanut brittle.
5. It's frequently found on shelves behind bars in Pubs.
6. EAT THE PEANUTS. (Bet you already knew it anyway and were just exposing this last hint hoping for something funny.)

What is that thing Ford puts on his satchel before he lies down for his nap?

1. That's the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
2. It's the single most useful thing an inter-galactic hitchhiker (or Infocom game player) can have.
3. See the Hitchhiker's Guide question in the General Questions section for more information.

How can I wake Ford?

1. Have you tried WAKE FORD?
2. You can't wake Ford.
3. You'll have to get the babel fish on your own.

How can I get the atomic vector plotter out of the glass case?

1. There's a switch and a keyboard attached to the case.
2. If you haven't made a SAVE recently, now might be a good time.
3. Try typing something on the keyboard. If you wanted to type "hello" on the keyboard, the proper way would be to type TYPE "HELLO."
4. Well, perhaps that wasn't such a great idea. Maybe you should try flipping the switch.
5. If the recording that played was nothing but gibberish, you'll have to find some way to translate it.
6. See the question about the babel fish.
7. Once you have the babel fish, try flipping the switch again.
8. Now you know what you need to type. It's just a matter of waiting around to hear the captain's poetry reading. See the question about what's going on in the Captain's Quarters.

What is the tall dispensing machine?

1. Examine it.

Why does the dispensing machine go "click"?

1. It's out of fish.

What is a babel fish?

1. Consult the Guide.

How can I get a babel fish?

1. This puzzle has more clues than a Hitchhiker's Guide Mark IV has options.
2. Have you tried pressing the dispenser button?
3. You need to block the small hole.
4. Let's hope you aren't stuck here, because it only gets harder.
5. It has something to do with the hook above the hole.
6. You need to hang something on the hook.
7. Examine the gown.
8. Notice the loop? Hang the gown on the hook, then press the button again.
9. Well, you've made a little progress. Don't give up now.
10. You'll have to block the drain.
11. There's only one thing large enough to completely cover the drain.
12. Cover the drain with the towel, then push the button again.
13. Oh, well. Forging ahead, you'll have to block the tiny robot panel.
14. Standing or lying in front of the panel won't work.
15. You'll have to put some object in front of the panel.
16. If it isn't bulky enough, the cleaning robot dashes around it.
17. Examine all the objects around.
18. The satchel is bulky. Put it in front of the panel, then push the button again.
19. At this point. brave men have been known to break down and cry.
20. Read, very carefully, the paragraph when Ford goes to sleep.
21. Note that when you placed the satchel in front of the panel the response was "The satchel is now LYING ON ITS SIDE in front of the panel."
22. The point of the two previous hints is that you can put an object on top of the satchel.
23. Put something on the satchel, then push the dispenser button again.
24. Notice that the upper-half-of-the-room cleaning robot just manages to catch the second item.
25. Perhaps if there were several items on the satchel, they would all fly in the air and confuse the flying robot.
26. Unfortunately. there's only room for one object on the satchel.
27. Do you have an object, or have you seen an object, that when flung into the air might act as many items?
28. Remember that when the upper-half-of-the-room cleaning robot grabbed the babel fish, before you put an object on the satchel, the text said that the fish was "the only flying junk" that the robot found.
29. Put the pile of junk mail on the satchel, then press the dispenser button again.
30. Voila!
31. (This space intentionally left blank.)
32. Incidentally, did you know that this is the longest question ever to appear in an InvisiClues hint booklet?
33. You see, the Kwimbucki of Zug Seven are avid interactive fiction fans, but they have one rather eccentric peculiarity.
34. They will not buy any work of interactive fiction unless its hint booklet has at least one question with over 35 hints.
35. This is the 35th hint.
36. Our marketing department will be happy to know that Zug Seven sales have just skyrocketed.

What's that gibberish I keep hearing over the ship's intercom?

1. It's an announcement in Vogonese, a language not widely taught in the un1versities around Cottington.
2. If you want to understand the announcement, you'll have to discover some way to translate it.
3. See the questions about the babel fish.
4. The announcement will begin 18 turns after you enter the Vogon Hold, or 3 turns after you obtain the babel fish.

Is there any way to stop the guards from dragging me to the Captain's quarters?

1. No.
2. If you don't know why the guards are dragging you off, see the question about the gibberish from the intercom.
3. The guards will arrive 36 turns after you arrive in the Vogon Hold, or 5 turns after you obtain a babel fish.

What's going on here in the Captain's Quarters?

1. Don't go on unless you've translated the garbled announcement.
2. Don't go on until you've figured out what's going on with the glass case and switch and keyboard.
3. You are at a Vogon Poetry Appreciation Session. The Vogon Captain is about to read you his favorite poem. The Guide's entry on Vogon Poetry makes clear that this is extremely nasty.
4. Because you have already flipped the switch on the glass case and listened to the recording, you know that you'll have to listen to the second verse of the poem in order to get the atomic vector plotter.
5. This poetry is painfully awful. Have you tried STOP THE POETRY or COVER MY EARS or DONT LISTEN TO THE VOGON POETRY?
6. "Why not relax and enjoy it?"
7. When he finishes the first verse the Captain says. "You didn't look like you enjoyed my poetry at all!" and then proceeds to have you thrown into space.
8. You want to ENJOY THE POETRY, any time between when the Captain begins the poetry reading and when he completes the end of the first verse. If you do so, the Captain will continue on and read the second verse.
9. Now that you've heard the glass case's recording and the second verse of the poem, you know what to type on the keyboard in order to acquire the atomic vector plotter. (You'll have to wait until the guards drag you back into the Vogon Hold, of course.)
10. For example, if the recording asked you to type the second word from the second verse, and the second word of the second verse was "lyshus," you should type "LYSHUS" when you get back to the Vogon Hold. NOTE: Each time you play the game, the lines of the verse come in different orders. Similarly, the glass case's recording asks for a different number word each time you play.

How can I prevent the guards from throwing us in the airlock?

1. There's no way to prevent this.
2. No matter what you do, you'll eventually end up getting spaced.
3. However, you should make sure that you've accomplished everything that needs to be accomplished aboard the Vogon ship before this occurs.
4. Your main goal aboard the Vogon ship is obtaining the atomic vector plotter.

Is there any way to survive getting blown out of the Airlock?

1. Yes. In fact, there's no way to not survive it.
2. If you just wait. you'll be blown into space and find yourself in the Dark again.
3. Try examining the Thumb while in the Airlock.
4. Apparently, there's another spaceship nearby. Try hitchhiking by pressing the green button.
5. This sends you through a matter transference beam, and you find yourself in the Dark again.
6. Both methods of surviving the Airlock are equivalent.